media consumption | may 2025

[darkunicorna]

may is basically almost over LMAOOO HAVE TO LAUGH i was pretty busy with social life and work this month, which is why i dropped the ball. but here we are! updating! my attention span has been bad lately, so i haven't FINISHED a lot... there is a whole graveyard of romance novels i've started and never finished LOLOL we'll see if i have enough energy to write abt them in the books section below. without further ado!

shows / performances / misc

• smtown may 11 i went. it was so much fun! i will write more here later.


• xikers may 17 omg almost didn't go to this but i'm so glad i did bc it was soooooo much fun! the novo was a great venue and i was rly rly charmed by these guys. will write more later!

tv

i've barely watched any tv lol i can't even finish ep 1 of secret lives of mormon wives

webtoons / manga / manhwa / manhua

• tears on a withered flower: korean, ongoing, ch. 46 still reading! a bit behind.


• trashy situation: korean, ongoing, ch. 37 still reading! s1 ended

payback: korean, complete, ch. 94 + side stories (incomplete) (i finished this but i'm just too lazy to write my complete thoughts by the end of the story lol i'll update at some point. one day. but overall i think it's amazing how suicidal yoohan was but how jay perfectly understood him to manipulate him into living LMAO.) i dropped payback a few months ago not intentionally but bc i simply was getting mad that not all the pages were loading (and rn i have slowed down a bit bc not all the pages are loading while i'm reading lmfaoo) but i was reminded that i wanted to read it again bc i was looking through my photos on my phone and saw a screenshot of blonde yoohan... love blonde yoohan hahah he's so attractive to me. anyway i think the story is super interesting and actually p plot heavy??? in terms of like corporate power etc. also it's surprisingly slow burn af lolol and their dynamic is so interesting... like yoohan is a secret softie who has rly strong morals actually and rly does care abt the ppl around him but is just rly blunt abt it + in a way he feels like he doesn't deserve to be liked / doesn't deserve to live a good life bc of all that's happened in the past, so he doesn't really TRY to be a good person but it's nevertheless embedded in his bones bc of the guilt he feels. it's obvious that this entire revenge plot is kind of his last hurrah... like now that he's paid off all of his debts, he's kinda okay with throwing everything at the wall for this one act of revenge bc i don't think he'll have anything to live for afterward -- like i think he's fully prepared to kermit after he takes myungshin down. like... the suicide scene he filmed says it all -- he acted it perfectly bc it's exactly how he feels / envisions his life going down once he fully pays off all his debts. this revenge plot is unfortunately tying him to ppl tho like manager choi and hansoo, who he is growing to like despite him saying he doesn't LOL i mean to some extent i think he doesn't feel as close to them as they do (maybe also partially him intentionally keeping his distance so he doesn't get attached) but he also doesn't want the weight of ruining someone else's life on his shoulders for sure. he's such a fascinating character and so so korean LOL so interesting how he truly doesn't let anyone in into how he's truly thinking + his true motivations / perspectives. EXCEPT jay, who starts questioning him in terms of, wtf will you do after revenge? what s this revenge for? he's probing bc he knows there's stuff under the surface. jay's an interesting one haha i'm like is he just saying things harshly so that yoohan will accept it? bc i think jay actually is a softy and rly does kinda have a soft spot for yoohan, but he frequently tells yoohan he doesn't care if he's beaten or bruised + forces yoohan into sexual situations under the guise that yoohan wants to punish himself so will pretend not to like it / will act like he deserves the pain but... in a way the way he reads all of that out of yoohan shows that he understands yoohan the best. also yoohan has like no life outside of manager choi + hansoo and jay lol there was that one scene where he was like "hmm i have no idea what to do now" and then jay texts him and he's like "omg i MUST go do this right away" lol v curious where this will go esp since i don't think there are THAT many chapters left coming up??
ngl i looove hansoo and manager choi and the owner a lot as well, as well as the manager of alice's labyrinth!! they're all so great!!! chairman kim is DISGUSTING and scary. i want more of jay's backstory like why was he injured when yoohan first met him and why was he abt to end up in a fight lmao. TELL ME!!!!

• ask and you will receive - sonnani iu nara daiteyaru: japanese, ongoing, ch. 10.5 I LOVED THISSSSSS omg my brain was still living in this universe after catching up to all the translated chapters, tho the translator was such a fucking TEASE hinting at all the good stuff in vol 3 and then STOPPING TRANSLATING obvi i understand things come up and i am not mad that this translator stopped translating bc that shit takes TIME BUT! i am now eagerly awaiting vol 3 omg like when are official translations gonna make it there... please......... i love 
  and even tho hikaru is a narcissist lol he still has a lot of redeeming qualities? he's still v considerate of shinobu and still has a lot of desires that are centered around other ppl, like when he wanted to take shinobu on the date... he's not like selfish lol he's just self-centered, and even then not in the way where he can't see other ppl and their wants / feelings haha but just in that he will prioritize himself almost without thinking. also shinobu is so hot lol omg night time shinobu but still in glasses..... love him sm haha although he seems to be averse to expressing his emotions but he clearly clearly cares about hikaru. i rly like how he's kind of difficult to ruffle - not often blushing, not often embarrassed. he's so cool and calm for the most part, which is a good match for hikaru LOLLL. while it seems like they are both pulled together by s*xual chemistry at first, and although they are different from each other, i think what matters and what keeps them together is that they're interested in each other / interested in learning more about each other. i am realizing that a lot of japanese manga (and not even necessarily just BL) has a lot of honne vs. tatemae - a lot of distinction between a professional side of someone and their more social / casual / true side, and i think i personally really like that, maybe partially bc i feel like there is so much to ppl that ppl don't see, so it's nice to think abt romantic relationships as seeing and accepting all parts of that? i also think that ppl having completely different sides to them that defy expectations is fun and interesting, and i like the exclusivity of only one person knowing. in a way bc of shinobu, hikaru also develops another side of himself that he can't let other ppl know! speaking of, i love the scene where they both want to protect each other after nighttime shinobu is photographed meeting hikaru in his room, and shinobu ends up revealing his true looks / true self to his coworkers, but hikaru is so concerned bc he knows shinobu wanted to hide that to keep his true self safe.... such good commentary on sexuality + coming out (and also not having to come out representation!!!). ANOTHER THING i am rly liking about japanese manga is that oftentimes they are one shots / one volume, so the cp tends to get together in that time period, but if the story is lucky enough to be extended, then WE GET TO SEE HOW THEY DEVELOP IN A RELATIONSHIP PAST GETTING TOGETHER.......... like my beautiful man as well as this and i think there was one more that olivia recommended me... but we get to see a lot of their struggles and thoughts past them starting to date, and that often deals w their insecurities, their differences, that are initially key parts of the plot in kind of sensational ways in the beginning of the story to get ppl to read it haha. love established relationship stories like this! (not all established relationship stories. but ones like THIS. lol). anyway! i need to find a way to find vol 3 now!!


• low tide in twilight: korean, complete, ch. 101 DANGGGG WHAT DO I SAY ABOUT THIS...... brooooo. well first i LOOOVE euiyoung i'm literally obsessed w him i was screenshotting away basically any time he was on the page. second. CRAAAAAZY plot and plot development like i guess i was on a streak w suicidal MLs since in payback yoohan was also extremely suicidal and basically everything jay did was to get him to not off himself lol here, euihyun is also def suicidal LOL but everything he does is for EUIYOUNGGGGG omg i was looking at my screenshots again and ugh i screenshotted that part where after euiyoung gets taken away by his biological father, euihyun is like i wanna go somewhere...... and i was like NOT THE OCEANNNN and taeju was also like NOT THE OCEANNN haha omg such a key moment in the story bc taeju stops hiding his true feelings at that moment and fesses up to fully knowing everything bad in euihyun's life is his fault and desperately desperately not wanting euihyun to k!ll himself bc of taeju.... ANYWAY I HAVE A POINT TO THIS I SWEAR TO GOD LMFAO the way euihyun actually never for a moment wanted to off himself there bc EUIHYUN WILL CALL SO HE CAN'T DIE. also ugh i just love how taeju grew to truly know and understand BOTH euihyun and euiyoung... when euiyoung ran away and everyone was looking for him but taeju realized euiyoung probably wouldn't come out of hiding unless he did something OTHER than call euiyoung's name, so he calls euihyun's instead bc he knows euiyoung would be worried something happened to his hyung. also i love the moment when euihyun is texting biological dad to get updates on euiyoung and euihyun is like "he says euiyoung is not eating" and then BOTH taeju and euihyun are like WELL WHY ISN'T HE EATING..... taeju caused so many of euihyun's worries so when he starts repenting for what he's done, he takes on euihyun's worries as his own, and he never treats euiyoung (at least post-rut scene lmao) as less than or as not a part of euihyun... like he loves euiyoung just as much bc euihyun loves him too. ALSO omg me just recounting bits and pieces lolol but the bit where euiyoung is at daycare and he's like why can't i eat this persimmon? and the teacher is like oh it's bc this one still has its peel on! you must be used to eating already peeled persimmons! it's hard to peel persimmons so whoever gave them to you must love you a lot" UGHHHH YES YOUR BROTHER FREAKING LOVES YOU SO FREAKING MUUUUUUUCH omg and then when euiyoung finds out he's an alpha and then taeju is like if you're an alpha you're like me vs if you're an omega you're like your brother and euiyoung starts SOBBING bc he wants to be like his bro not fuckass taeju LOLOL BUT THEN HE SWITCHES BC HE LEARNS THAT ALPHAS CAN PROTECT OMEGAS SO HE'S LIKE I WANNA BE AN ALPHA SO I CAN PROTECT YOU HYUNG.... ok let me stop and get to more of the overarching analyses lolol at its heart this story is abt LOVE in all its forms -- familial, romantic, etc -- and also how love can transform. the author's note at the end of the story talks abt the circle of love where initially taeju just loves himself and euihyun loves others more than he loves himself and then it circles to taeju loving euihyun like he used to love himself and euihyun loving himself bc taeju loves him. WAAAAAAHHH LOVE IS TRANSFORMATIVE LOVE CAN CHANGE PEOPLE LOVE CAN MAKE PEOPLE BETTER. WOW. taeju's transformation is truly truly so well written. he knows he's hurting euihyun but in the beginning he just doesn't care, vs as he begins to see euihyun as a person (esp someone who is so self flagellating as him), he feels worse and worse the more they have s*x bc he knows he doesn't have euihyun's actual heart and attention through it + knows euihyun is doing it out obligation. euihyun never pretends to have liked those nonconsensual encounters and outright says he only does it for euiyoung + for money -- and taeju also acknowledges that he wanted to trap euihyun in a box where only taeju mattered (like euihyun could only rely on taeju) just bc he wanted to be SOMETHING to euihyun, whatever that something may be (which led to euihyun obsessively fixating on whether or not taeju was bored w him / whether or not taeju would throw him away and replace him / whether or not taeju was actually interested in him). all of these things make the moments when taeju starts to make up for his wrongs all the better, all the sweeter, and it makes it all the more clear that their s*xual relationship at the start of the story was not love or romance. in this way, the noncnosensual nature of their encounters is not romanticized or s*xualized, and it rly served a purpose in the narrative story, so i hope ppl can approach it as such. I ALSO WANT TO SAY. there were a handful of moments where i was like ughhhh the plot continues due to some dumb misstep or something like that and THE AUTHOR ACTUALLY DID A GOOD JOB OF EXPLAINING THOSE STUPID PLOT MOMENTS IN THE END -- in a way that i think is rly effective and lines up well w taeju's character. when taeju was in wherever he was chasing euihyun's dad and he chooses to ditch the dad to find euihyun bc euihyun wasn't where he said he would be, i was like DANGIT!!! and also whether or not euihyun's debt was actually resolved..... IT'S ALL BC DESPITE HOW GOOD THEIR RELATIONSHIP WAS AFTER TAEJU STARTED GIVING MORE THAN TAKING, HE WAS STILL TERRIBLY AFRAID THAT EUIHYUN WOULDN'T NEED HIM ANYMORE AND WOULD LEAVE. he was desperate to tie euihyun to himself in any kind of way -- STILL. which i think is real bc there's no way he would do a total personality 180 so quickly. it felt super real in that it reflected thoughts and feelings and behaviors that i thought would definitely actually happen irl. i thought the plot points - like the pregnancy, the bad guys kidnapping euihyun, etc were all kinda rote, though still well done -- the setup to the kidnapping was very elaborate lol -- but the really really full characterizations made up for it and made this super memorable. i actually cried sm at euihyun at the end talking abt himself UGHHHH also yesss the miscarriage had to happen so that euihyun would realize that taeju loved him for him, not out of obligation or anything... UGH i love the ending sm with euihyun being the one to manipulate taeju into finally coming out of hiding from euihyun lol YEAHHHH EUIHYUN ON TOP! EUIHYUN IN CHARGE! i am. SO excited for the extras w baby + w OLDER EUIYOUNGGGGGG I LOVE YOU EUIYOUNGGGGG YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING. holy hell did i just type 1K words about this LOL. (spoiler: just did a word count and. i did)


• unromantic romance: korean, complete, ch. 54 + side stories i really love what this manhwa set out to do. i love the premise of like. what if alphas were seen as weak and needed to be protected / guided / by omegas? first off, it's a recipe for power bottom city LOLOL second off, it just turns so many abo tropes on their head. hyeonoh was soooo clingy and he was the jobless af one while chu gain was the rich and powerful af CEO who usually never took other partners + was aloof af and lowkey kinda cruel? before meeting hyeonoh. hyeonoh for sureee falls first (all it takes is one night together for him to be unable to stop thinking abt gain lol). loved how hyeonoh made gain softer.... like when shura was like "i like you / think you are attractive rn" and gain is like whatever version of me you're attracted to is the one that was CREATED by / only exists bc of hyeonoh. in general the dialogue was rly great and felt like it aligned w my own perspective toward life EXCEPT the stuff abt kids... bc i obviously have rly strong opinions about only having kids if you want them bc childcare is hard as SHIT so you can't half ass that shit..... so i was like gain what the FUCK do you mean you'll have a kid just bc you know hyeonoh wants one.... that's reductive lol i know that's not the only reason.... and i did think his explanation to his mom when he first told her he was pregnant was really moving and beautiful and showed how much he rly loved hyeonoh... so i'll let it slide lmfao but GENERALLY SPEAKING i do not approve. omg also when the child was about to be born and gain was like idk if i will love it more than you... idk if i will love anything more than you" okay damnnnnn. overall super sweet and super fun to read and it was relatively well-paced although i thought that too much of the main conflict happened off screen so the resolution felt like... not like a big moment haha. i also loved how these moms -- like both gain and hyeonoh's mom's both looked kinda butch?? LMFAO. a pro in my book. BUT i do think it lost its trope subversion ways around the middle, esp since gain gets pregnant anyway... show me an abo manhwa/manga where the omega doesn't get preggers pls.... and if i think too hard i'm like hmmm what EXACTLY do these two like abt each other... like sure they have good chemistry but? other than that? it's supposedly titled unromantic romance bc gain is unromantic and hyeonoh is very romantic... i guess... i think they coulda sold that a little bit more haha i mean maybe i'm just Stupid abt relationships and they don't need allathat lol i mean it obvi still worked on me but ig i don't know how much of a lasting impact this story will have on me! but v fun w a unique concept and a nice length hehe so overall i approve.


• love of clouds and rain: korean, complete, ch. 31 (total 40) i am reading this now and ngl will probably finish tonight hahah it's v sweet and i loooove the art. the artist is sooooo good at drawing old ppl who actually look old and who look like real old people. also all the various creatures are sooooooo freaking cute PEANUT. I LOVE YOU SM TT TT OH GOD. and the little guardian statue... i also loved it so immensely. this could honestly be longer w more adventures w other animals! each of the animals + owners' stories is really meaningful and emotional fr!! they almost got me GOOD (i'm on antidepressants). love how jung is autistic coded hahahah i do think he could do with a bit more depth in his backstory? like he doesn't get along w ppl... ok... did anyone bully him? why did they make him uncomfortable? also woonwoo also has an interesting backstory, esp w mr. turtle i was like wow so he's a nice guy despite being full of himself ig! curious to see when he'll figure out jung is his inverted scale lol.

movies

still watching at alamo, tho also did some at amc recently on those discount tuesdays (where would i be without discount tuesdays). excited for summer blockbusters! as always, my reviews are here.


books

i usually log my books on literal! but i barely finished a book lmfaoooo here is my graveyard of incomplete romance novels:

• stroked long by meghan quinn ppl seem to like meghan quinn and this one was highly recommended out of all of her books. i think i was looking for some trope in particular... he falls first? (i don't think he falls first lol) obsessive ml? (i don't think ml is obsessive... i mean he is LITERALLY obsessive as in obsessive compulsive but not like OBSESSED w ruby) so... idk what got me here but! everyone was saying this is so deep and emotional bc bodi is so traumatized, and i did enjoy reading abt someone struggling w OCD; the stuff abt him being so afraid ruby would lose interest once she realized he wasn't "normal" kinda resonated bc i used to be concerned abt that all the time back when i was actually interested in relationships. both characters have a loooot of personality, and i thought the text exchanges while bodi was away for qualifing matches or whatever tf they're called were reallllly funny hahaha but i think the typical thing happened w me where i just lose interest once they consummate the relationship lolll maybe i just need to accept that smut is not for me + just skip the snu snu. i'm at 68% so i honestly rly should just finish it...


• tristan by karla sorensen okay now THIS one i remember the trope i was looking for lolol i was looking for the trope where ml has had a crush on fl for a looooooong time beforehand bc i wanted down bad ml / he fell first + will do lots of acts of service for her without expecting anything in return... this definitely TECHNICALLY fits the bill, but i didn't think anna really had a good reason to still be w her husband + i didn't think tristan's reason for liking anna was good enough to have pined for her for so many years haha so i really didn't get far in this one (13%). thought it was interesting that anna was a korean adoptee, but idk if it would have been handled well if i got further tbh.


• burn for you by j.t. geissinger i read melt for you and i LOOOOOOOOVED it and i actually finished it (amazed) so i was like oooh let me try the other books in this particular series! esp since it's the slow burn series lol so i thought i would have to get vvv far into the book before anyone consummates any relationship hahaha. i enjoyed it! and i was intrigued that j.t. geissinger decided to write a black fl surrounded by many black characters. i liked the touches of nola culture. i couldn't tell if jackson was supposed to be black or not as well bc when we meet cody, bianca knows cody is not related to jackson bc of his... pale ass skin color??? but jackson also has blue eyes. but also the narrators in the audiobook read jackson's lines w a particular accent that makes me think he's black. well. anyway i enjoyed it and was having a good time in general but my attention span struck again and even tho i was not against this couple, bianca and jackson's chemistry just wasn't as ELECTRIC as joellen and cam. only got to 35%, but maybe i will get to finishing this later!


• focused by karla sorensen i actually got over 50% of the way through this. i liked to see the ways molly got past noah's gruff exterior. i think for their past history, it didn't have to be molly who was the catalyst for noah's shift to solely FOCUSING (get it, haha) on his career; in fact, i think it would have been better if it had been someone else, esp since the story intentionally doesn't emphasize any big feelings or attraction during their teenage years, so the event didn't really have a huge impact on their impressions of each other. i am at the part where they are at noah's grandma's house, and i just think it's a bad idea of them to consummate their relationship LOL it's not even me losing interest at it but specifically that molly is gonna get in soooooo much trouble. i was intrigued by some of the other stories in this ward sisters series, so i was thinking of reading another one... but i really should just finish this one lol i'm close enough to the end.


• waiting for a scot like you by eva leigh i was probably looking for age gap trope lmfao i actually really really enjoy this book! i like that there is a background queer relationship, and that the characters make a point to look down on ppl who are overly patriotic to england + one of the characters even studies english colonialism. quite refreshing in a historical romance! the narrator's scottish accent is. um. not good LOL duncan just ends up sounding vaguely foreign. i quite like beatrice and i like the two of them as a couple, esp the ways that even tho duncan is younger, he still has QUITE a bit of life experience due to being in the war (and they also talk abt his PTSD from that a lot as well). ummm... once again... these ppl have consummated their relationship and i have lost interest LOLLLL i will probably end up finishing it (currently at 62%) but i just. took a bit of a break lolol. i thought the other stories in this series also seemed quite interesting!